SonicClash (Live??)Blogs the American Music Awards!!
November 23, 2009
In the interest of full disclosure…this isn’t totally a live blog. I had a concert to go to tonight, so I was only originally able to catch the first thirty minutes of the American Music Awards ceremony. I’m watching the rest on DVR. So, yeah, it’s not a live blog, per se. Sue me.
I’ve always enjoyed watching the American Music Awards. It’s sort of a middle ground between the craziness of the VMAs and the stodginess of the Grammy Awards. This year, the big story is the five nominations given posthumously to Michael Jackson, who is the biggest winner in AMA history with 23 trophies (as well as a former co-host of the show). Obviously, the head-scratcher here is the fact that MJ didn’t release any new material in 2009. He’s being nominated for the six-year old “Number Ones” LP, as well as his catalog sales throughout the year. Is it fair? Yes and no. I mean, the nominations are based on aggregate record sales and radio airplay, and no human sold more records in the U.S. in 2009 than Michael Jackson. And it’s not like there’s not a precedent, considering The Beatles won a competitive American Music Award (for Favorite Pop/Rock album) thirty years after they disbanded (for their “#1s” album). Nevertheless, MJ’s wins (and I will stop just short of guaranteeing that he will win EVERY single category he’s nominated in) will come with a Barry Bonds-style asterisk.
A couple things you should know. Among the performers tonight are Lady GaGa, Adam Lambert, Whitney Houston and Janet Jackson, so the show has the potential to be a hot mess. Oh, and Rihanna’s here too. Jay-Z and 50 Cent will also cross paths. You should also know that unlike the Grammys, which anoints things as “best”, the American Music Awards designates their categories as “favorite”, a tip of the hat to the fact that these awards are not voted on by their peers, but by the general public, most of which have to be based out in Middle America, considering some of the winners in past years and the fact that I’ve never been invited to vote (although I think the voting was internet-based for a couple of years).
Another thing I find interesting about the AMAs is that unlike the Grammys, the winners are notified of their victories before the show…ALLEGEDLY. I don’t know this as gospel fact, BUT you can’t help but notice that all the winners who don’t attend have pre-taped speeches (announced falsely as *via satellite*) at the ready. You’ll also notice that a lot of the nominated acts who aren’t victorious are mysteriously not in attendance at the show. You should also check out the book written by the guy who produces the Grammy Awards, Ken Ehrlich, in which he strongly hints that the AMA winners are aware of their wins prior to the telecast.
Anyway, enough of the pregame. Let’s start the show.
*Janet Jackson is opening the show with a medley of her greatest hits. Suck in that gut Janet!! Ms. Jackson has obviously been partaking in that chicken and biscuits.
*It’s hard to tell whether Janet is singing live or lip-synching. She’s not dancing as hard as the other dancers, and she’s definitely not using the studio recordings. I hear a couple of bum notes, so I’ll give her the benefit of the doubt and say that she’s singing live.
*Jermaine and his greasy ass is in the audience. That brother is shiny all the time.
*JJ is singing “If”, and she just grabbed her dancer’s crotch. ABC’s cameras didn’t move in time enough to do a long shot of that.
*Why does Mary J. Blige always have a confused look on her face?
*Janet is now singing her latest single “Make Me”. THIS part of the performance is definitely lip-synched.
*Why do all the Jacksons pronounce “body” as “botty”?
*And I might be the only person to notice the fact that this song steals the melody line from Billy Ocean’s “Night (Feel Like Gettin’ Down)”
*Whatever happened to Billy Ocean anyway?
*The fat guy from Rascal Flatts is struggling to clap on-beat. White people are funny.
*Closing with “Together Again” is a classy move. She asks the audience to sing along, and the camera pans to Jermaine, who doesn’t know the words. Bad brother.
*The whitest announcer in the world just announced “Fiddy Cent”.
*Paula Abdul (alleged former mistress of Michael’s older brother Jackie) arrives on stage to announce the first award and she sounds completely lucid. Someone got the mix of meds right!!
*First Award is for favorite Pop group. Nominees are The Black Eyed Peas, Kings of Leon and Nickelback. Let’s assume the average Middle American is unaware of KOL, so this becomes a two-band race.
*BEP wins. They have SIX American Music Awards? Holy shit, dude.
*Even I’ll admit, Fergie looks good tonight.
*Someone said I look like apl.de.ap. Needless to say, I was highly insulted.
apl.de.ap of the Black Eyed Peas
*Kristin Bell and Jason Aldean are announcing the award for favorite Country Band. They crack a stale joke (I think one person laughed) and announce the nominees: Rascal Flatts, Sugarland and the Zac Brown Band.
*Fat dude from Rascal Flatts gets more laughs than Jason Aldean. So much for the scripted jokes.
*How come I just now noticed that Pete Wentz of Fall Out Boy looks exactly like Jeremy Piven?
*Next thing you know, FOB’s tour will be cancelled because Wentz caught mercury poisoning from eating too much sushi.
*Thanks, y’all. I’ll be here all night!!
*I like my share of bland music (hey, I own a Nickelback album!), but Daughtry is blander than bland. This ballad is not getting me or the crowd amped. I don’t know if it’s possible to perform with less energy than this.
*Here comes Shakira’s fine ass. She’s decided to turn into Nelly Furtado for the night. Although I don’t think Furtado can work those hips like Shaki can. I betcha Shakira does some serious Kegel exercises.
*I wonder if her boyfriend gets afraid that she’ll get mad at him during sex, clench her hips and then rip his dick off.
*This performance is decidedly uninspired. The brother in the front row is bored as shit. I don’t blame you, man.
*Whitney and Bobbi Kristina are spotted in the audience. Where is BOBBAY? BOBBAY BROWN? KING OF R&B!!!!
*”Modern Family”-best new show on TV. Make sure you’re watching.
*Sofia whats-her-name from “Modern Family” is a DIME PIECE. The Latinas are representing tonight.
*Keith Urban is performing. I dig most modern country, but Urban’s just not my speed. Did you know he posed for Playgirl back in the day? He didn’t show Little Keith, though.
Keith Urban nekked.
*Here’s Reba McEntire. Did y’all see the “SNL” sketch with Kenan Thompson as Reba? I gotta admit, it was pretty funny.
*Reba is introducing Kelly Clarkson. This is like an “American Idol” reunion. Glambert and Carrie Underwood are on deck. Where’s Tay-Tay Hicks?
*I think Kelly’s gonna be joining Janet on the line for chicken and biscuits. I’m glad I hit Popeye’s before the show started.
*Cameraman, you can do all the long shots you want, but nothing can take away from the fact that Kelly is HUGE. I know she had beef with Clive Davis, but she didn’t have to eat the man.
*Snoop Dogg is replacing Steven Tyler in Aerosmith!!!
*Snoop just made a weed joke. Novel.
*Beyonce, Gaga and Taylor Swift are nominated for Favorite Pop Female, the winner is…Taylor Swift! She’s not there!! But she’s on tape!!
*This way, Kanye can’t jack her shine! Bwa hahahhahhahha!!!
*Does Taylor ever open her eyes all the way?
*A-Rod is presenting an award. You know what’s next! “Empire State of Mind”! Brooklyn stand up!!
*Alicia Keys, if you’re gonna sing “New York, New York”, you should probably know the words.
*What the hell is Seth Green doing at the American Music Awards?
*What the hell is Perez Hilton doing at the American Music Awards?
*I think Jay needs a cup of tea. He sounds like he swallowed a shot glass.
*A. Keys is lip-synching? That chorus sounds recorded.
*Is Lil’ Mama gonna jump on the stage this time? I hope there are security measures in place.
*Easily the best performance of the night so far.
*Christian Slater is presenting the next award? He still has a career? He definitely has Botox.
*Alternative Rock nominees are Green Day, Kings of Leon and Shinedown. Billie Joe’s in the audience. I bet I know who the winner is.
*Damn I’m good.
*Who’s Gloriana?
*I forgot that Taylor Swift is nominated in some of the same categories as MJ. OK, so he WON’T win everything he’s nominated for.
*I guess considering A-Rod & Keith Urban are here, it makes sense that Nicole Kidman and Kate Hudson are here as well. They’re announcing the Black Eyed Peas.
*A huge pat-on-the-back clip announces them. I wonder if they stay awake at night wondering about how they sold their souls for success. Remember when they were at least a passable hip-hop group?
*I take back my comment about Fergie. She’s back to being a butterface.
*will.i.am is wearing a keytar and a James Brown wig. I have no words.
*The other two Peas have the cushiest job in the business. Fergie and Will do all the work and the others still get paid. Maybe they should join a group with the third guy in N.E.R.D. and call themselves Who the Fuck Are Those Guys?
*Fergie Ferg can definitely sing. I wish she made a record that really showcased her talents.
*Is that Alexis Arquette? What is THAT doing there?
*Seth Green’s lady friend is a foot taller than him. Must be nice to be a star.
*Is this performance over yet?
*They just mixed “Smells Like Teen Spirit” into their performance. A thousand snobby white rock critics just went into cardiac arrest.
*will.i.am just called themselves “the new Kings”. Kings of what? Making shitty music and selling out?
*R&B male nominees are Jamie Foxx, Maxwell and MJ. In any other year, Maxwell should take this baby home, but this one is Michael’s all the way.
*Jermaine accepts on his behalf and announces his family. Jermajesty is probably still like “why the hell did you give me this name?”
*Jermajesty!!! I know Blanket is like “shit, I got off easy!”
*That “Scrubs” commercial was better than any of the previews I saw on ABC’s website.
*Zac Brown Band are announcing the nominees for Favorite Country Male. Jason Aldean, Darius Rucker and Keith Urban. Keith Urban wins, which I kinda figured would happen, seeing as he’s in the audience and all.
*How do you mix an Aussie accent with a country accent? Well, now you know, folks.
*Maybe Urban’s daughter Sunday should meet Jermajesty. Jermajesty Sunday? Sounds like a new flavor at Haagen Dasz.
*Memo to Kris Allen: no one cares.
*Soul R&B female: Beyonce, Keyshia Cole and Keri Hilson. If Beyonce doesn’t win this, I’m gonna run out on stage Kanye-style.
*Beyonce wins and didn’t even pre-tape a speech. Wack. Couldn’t Jay have accepted on her behalf?
*Ne-Yo’s head is now presenting Rihanna. I will refrain from making any Chris Brown jokes during this performance.
*You’ve gotta give her props for swagger-jacking Grace Jones when everyone else is swagger-jacking Madonna and Janet.
*She has tattoos on her neck. The front of it. Someone needs to learn when to say when.
*The performances so far have been pretty bad. Well, not bad. More like boring. Whitney and Mary better come save us,
*Fat dude from Rascal Flatts needs his own comedy show. He’s funny!
*They’re announcing Carrie Underwood. Her new album’s entitled “Play On”, in case you didn’t notice from that big-ass sign that says “Play On” glowing behind her.
*Hey, whatever happened to Shania Twain?
*They show Paula in the audience. This next season of “Idol” is gonna suck so bad without her. She’s been pretty much the only reason to watch the past couple of seasons anyway.
*Her comes GaGa and she’s wearing an…I dunno what the HELL that is. But all her dancers are wearing nude bodysuits. Censors, go to work! That’s what we pay you for.
*Those nips are in full view. Of course, she won’t get Janet-ized. She’s white.
*I’m not sure what any of this means symbolically. She breaks a glass partition to play a piano and the piano is on fire. I think I just popped a brain cell. I give her props for being different, but she confuses the living hell out of me.
*Jay-Z is in the audience like “huh?”
*Perez Hilton makes me want to throw up backwards.
*A Beatles “Rock Band” commercial just aired. John Lennon and George Harrison just rolled over in their graves, while Michael Jackson said “Shit! Why couldn’t I have stayed alive to get some of this money??”
*Here’s Drake, Jeremih and Kid Cudi announcing Mary J. Blige. When did hip-hop get preppy?
*Mary J. has essentially turned into Aretha, minus the chicken and biscuits.
*Mediocre song, but she’s singing the shit out of it. You go, Mary.
*Colbie Caillait is presenting the Breakthrough Artist award. The nominees are Gloriana (who?), Keri Hilson, Kid Cudi, and Lady GaGa.
*Ummm..this one is a no-brainer. HUH?
*WHO THE FUCK IS GLORIANA??? Off to Wikipedia I go.
*One of the Gloriana guys just made light of the fact that no one who knows who the hell they are. Who from the record company stuffed the ballot box?
*Lady GaGa is like “I broke glass bottles over my piano for THIS?”
*Here comes J. Lo. She got the “are you ready to rumble?” dude to announce her. If we added up all of J. Lo and Britney’s musical performances, how many times do you think they’ve actually sung live? Once?
*Bitch made a song about Loubotin shoes. Is that how you spell that? Are you serious?
*I would say go back to acting. But it’s not like she’s especially good at that either. Go back to…dancing? Can we bring the Fly Girls back?
*Here comes Sam Jackson. What’s he doing here? He’s not related to Michael.
*Can Whitney do it live? Let’s see.
*She’s doing it. That’s my girl!!
*Bobbi Kristina got Mr. Brown’s gap tooth. Sorry, girl.
*Is that Ray J.? Still hitting that? Aren’t him and Bobbi Kris the same age?
*There goes one of the “Dancing with the Stars” chicks and Leona Lewis, last seen looking for her career. Country female is up next. Nominees are Taylor Swift, Carrie Underwood and Reba McEntire. Can Reba pull this out?
*Nope, Taylor wins. Seriously, do you think she’s been standing by with her tour people for the entire three-hour telecast?
*Melissa Etheridge announces Best Pop Male-Eminem, MJ and T.I. The award goes to Michael. Where did Janet go? Damn…he just called out his whole family except for Randy. Shady much? Then again, Jermaine did marry Randy’s ex-wife.
*A. Keys is back to perform again. Um, I like the song, but this performance is kinda weak.
*So that’s what Seth Green is here for. Why did I just get reminded of the wigger character he played in “Can’t Hardly Wait”? I loved that movie.
*Eminem and 50 are performing “Crack a Bottle”. Em might get the award for biggest squandering of skills in the entire hip-hop industry. So talented, but his subject matter sucks ass.
*Fiddy should hook up with Leona Lewis so they can find their careers together.
*He’s performing “Forever” now. I gotta say he killed his verse on this song. This is a reminder of how good an emcee he is. That is true spittin’.
*After the show? Timbo will be joining Janet and Kelly Clarkson for…you guessed it…chicken and biscuits. Guess those steroi…uh, that weight training didn’t pay off.
*Dude has more rolls in the back of his head than Pillsbury.
*Aw, they did a little “Thriller” takeoff. How cute.
*Do you think Missy Elliott calls Timbaland every now and then and says “hey, remember me?”
*What is up with all these chicks with unpronounceable names?
*I must admit, rock has been sorely unrepresented in this show. It’s up to Green Day to save the rock.
*They’re not doing a great job. Billie Joe blows almost the entire first verse and looks singularly unexcited to be performing. Then again, I found “21st Century Breakdown” pretty uninspired and “21 Guns” is a pretty obvious rewrite of “Boulevard of Broken Dreams” .
*Ooh, fireworks. This is still a lame performance.
*Billie Joe-the falsetto was not a good look. At all.
*Toni Braxton (remember her?) is presenting favorite Male Hip-Hop. Nominees are Jigga, Eminem and T.I. I call Eminem.
*Jigga wins. Holy shit!
*That man oozes cool. Brooklyn, baby!!
*Here comes Ryan Seacrest. He’s a sportscaster??
*Artist of the Year: Is it MJ, Taylor Swift, Eminem, Kings of Leon or Lady GaGa? I say it’s either Taylor or Michael. Too close to call.
*Taylor Swift wins it. She’s either really sincere or really fake. I can’t tell which.
*Glambert is closing out the show. Good God, do you think he could gay it up a little more?
*I’m being sarcastic, in case you can’t figure it out.
*Whoa. He just ground some dude’s face into his crotch. Censors! Censors!!
*There go a bunch of moms in Iowa who won’t buy his album.
*He just almost did a face plant. Was that on purpose?
*Between him and Lady GaGa, this might as well be the GLAAD awards.
*OK dude, easy on the shrieking.
*My friend Pat mentioned that he thought the Lambert cover was so gay that he would be embarrassed if it were to pop up on his iPod. Then he said “no offense”. I wasn’t offended. That album cover is too gay even for me.
*I think the audience was too gayed out to clap for that one.
*Final tally: Taylor Swift won 5 awards, MJ won four awards, Jigga and The Black Eyed Peas won two apiece.
*There have been better ways to spend three hours, but this show wasn’t altogether awful. See you at the Grammys.
2009 American Music Awards Play By Play – West Coast Edition
November 22, 2009
Since I’m on the West Coast, we’ll pretend this show is just starting.
(By the way, Money Mike posted his own East Coast version up. It’s East Coast vs. West Coast all over again.)
I remember as a kid when I used to count down the time until the AMAs were about to start. Now? Not so much. They don’t make award shows like they used to, but hopefully we’ll get some fun performances.
I expect lots of Jay-Z love, lots of Michael Jackson love, lots of Taylor Swift love, and the opposite of lots of love for Kanye West.
Like Arsenio used to say, “Let’s get busy!”
Janet Jackson
- Who seated Mary J. Blige next to Carrie Underwood? I bet they could talk about old boyfriends.
MJ: Girl, you think Tony Romo was bad? Man, I wanted to break K-Ci’s knee caps.
CU: You dated KC from the Sunshine Band?
MJ: Um, no. K-Ci from Jodeci. Forget it.
- The only problem with Janet going through her old hits is that it just makes anything she’s done in the last 5 years look so bad in comparison.
- Paula Abdul is the first presenter. No, she didn’t make any Ellen DeGeneres looks, acts, and sounds like a boy jokes, though you know she wanted to.
- The Black Eyed Peas won the first award which was for favorite group in the pop/rock category. At least this time, Fergie’s face didn’t break the HD tuner on my TV like it did last week.
(I DVRd Saturday Night Live last week and watched it after the fact. The picture was perfect until Fergie started to sing. The picture became pixelated and then was suddenly fixed when the performance was over. Coincidence? I think not.)
- The only thing I can really say about Shakira’s performance is, “Oh my damn.”
- Even though that long dress made her hips and legs look like a pair of parentheses ( ), Kelly Clarkson sung the hell out of We Were Never Meant To Say Goodbye.
- Alex Rodriguez just introduced Jay-Z and Alicia Keys. I bet he and Timberland and Dr. Dre could talk PEDs for days.
- Nope, not sick of Empire State Of Mind yet.
- Kate Hudson is wearing a dress that shows off her 14-year old boyish chest. She could get away with going shirtless and I don’t think anyone would flip.
- Oh man, I hope my TV can take it. The Black Eyed Peas are back on stage. Fergie Ferg ’bout to break my TV again.
- Thankfully, my TV was fine. The performance was actually fine too. And she didn’t piss herself on stage, which is always a plus.
- Your boy Michael Jackson won the award for favorite male artist in the Soul/R&B and you know who accepted it for him. If you answered greasy Jermaine, you were right. Also, you got to see his son Jermajesty, which was a treat in that of itself. I was almost sure that child didn’t really exist. But he did!
- I know nothing about the Zack Brown band. But what I learned today is that some of those dudes have some manly beards.
- Beyonce won an award and then it was announced that she wasn’t there. My heart rate has never been so up and down in a five second period ever in my life.
- Hat makers thank Ne-Yo for keeping them in business.
- Rihanna has the same haircut that David Silver rocked in the first season of Beverly Hills, 90210.
- Carrie Underwood looks good and sounds good, but needs to stay off the salad. Yes, you can be too thin. She and Kate Hudson are trying to out-skinny each other.
- Lady GaGa was carrying something in both of her back pockets, but she doesn’t have any pockets. Hmmm.
- That Lady GaGa performance was just, um, it was just, um, hmm. If I tried to describe it, you wouldn’t understand and I’d just give myself nightmares. This is why YouTube was invented.
- Not sure about you, but I can really do without these Perez Hilton audience shots.
- Some country group called Gloriana just beat Lady GaGa for the Breakthrough Award. I think I saw GaGa walk off in a huff and fly away in her spaceship.
- Ok, I think they edited this show for us on the West Coast. There’s supposed to be a part during J-Lo’s performance and she falls while performing. All I saw is that she jumped, all of a sudden it went into slow motion, and then jump cut city. Again, why YouTube was created.
- You go Whitty. Do your thing. Somewhere, Bobby Brown gently weeps while shaving those lines into the side of his head.
- I’m not sure Whitney did this on purpose or not, but she screamed, “I love YOU,” like Michael Jackson used to do it where you emphasize the “you”. I think that was a shout out to Mike.
- Taylor just won award number two and she’s not even there. I think that if you don’t attend the show and you’re not in jail like TI, or you didn’t pass away before it was given out, you have to automatically give it to Kanye.
- And just as I say that, MJ won for favorite male artist in Pop/Rock. Greasy is back on the scene to accept the award, but this time, sans Jermajesty.
- Lady GaGa was breaking fake glass on her piano that was on fire. Alicia Keys just did her one better by playing her piano in mid air while it was spinning. Supposely GaGa saw that from her space ship and just went into hyper speed.
- It’s pretty telling that Eminem decided to do his verse from Drake’s Forever since nearly everything on his album was garbage.
- Timbo is now on stage and the back of his neck looks like a pack of hot dogs. But I’m not mad because he just let Nelly Furtado join him and she’s still looking foine.
- There’s been a Toni Braxton sighting. Good to see her back and I hope she’s healthy. Jimmy Jackson and Jason Kidd just remembered why they hate each other.
- My main man Ryan Seacrest is out to give out the Artist Of The Year.
Let me run down the candidates quickly:
Eminem – Relapse may be the worst album of the year.
Michael Jackson – Dude sold more records dead than anyone alive is selling this year, except probably Taylor Swift. Also took all the buzz away from the Beatles re-releases.
Kings Of Leon – My friend Christal had to show me their video the other day. I’d never seen it before. Enough said.
Lady GaGa – She’s too far ahead of her time. Like by maybe 500 years.
Taylor Swift – I don’t have a Taylor Swift song in my music library, but she was pretty fun on Saturday Night Live.And Taylor Swift beats MJ. Ok, maybe she wasn’t that fun on Saturday Night Live. And she talks like Drew Barrymore.
- Adam Lambert is closing the show. However, I don’t think he’s closing it out Mariano Rivera style.
- I wonder if I can get my hair as high as Adam’s. That might be a 2010 goal for me.
- Wait, is Adam Lambert gay?
Photo of Janet from Wikipedia and shared through creative commons
Lady GaGa Ineligible for Best New Artist Grammy
November 18, 2009
It’s not too early to start thinking about Grammy Award nominees, as they will be announced next month, but one story making the rounds is sure to add a layer of controversy to next year’s ceremony. Lady GaGa, widely considered to be the front-runner for the coveted Best New Artist trophy, is not eligible to be nominated for it. How come, you ask? Well, GaGa was nominated last year for Best Dance Recording for “Just Dance”. Once you are nominated for a Grammy in any other category, you are ineligible to be nominated for Best New Artist.
So, the question then becomes: who the hell is gonna win it this year? With Lady GaGa out of the picture, it becomes a pretty wide open field. The front-runners appear to be the Zac Brown Band and Keri Hilson. ZBB don’t have much in the way of name recognition, but they *do* have a platinum album as well as huge country hits with “Chicken Fried” and “Toes”. The Nashville folk will come out in droves to support these guys. Meanwhile, Hilson’s album has sold well (going Gold recently) and her many collaborations (as both a songwriter and a singer) give her some juice in the industry. This all despite the fact that her album sucks eagle balls.
Other possibilities include alt-rockers Cage the Elephant, collegiate rapper Asher Roth, and “American Idol” finishers David Cook and David Archuleta. Let’s look over at Soundscan and see what the top selling albums are this year by eligible debut artists (I’d also be curious to see whether the Grammy committee considers Miley Cyrus to be a new artist):
1) Zac Brown Band “Foundation” 1m scanned
2) Darius Rucker “Learn to Live” (yes, he’s eligible even though he already has a Best New Artist Grammy as a member of Hootie & the Blowfish) 677K
3) Keri Hilson (477K)
4) David Cook (440K)
5) Hollywood Undead (406K)
6) Jamey Johnson (391K)
7) Chickenfoot (356K…I assume supergroups are eligible)
3OH!3 (295K)
9) Owl City (271K…and a #1 single)
10) The Lonely Island (262K…hey, if Justin Timberlake can win an Emmy, Andy Samberg can win a Grammy…besides, there’s a precedent here. Robin Williams was nominated for Best New Artist in 1980).
As you can see-not a choice group of artists here. This should be interested.
Taylor Swift Sweeps the CMAs
November 12, 2009
Exactly how many country music awards shows are there? I can’t tell the CMAs from the CMTs from the…well, I think there’s another one. Despite the fact that I’m a fan of some current pop-rock/country, I don’t think I could sit through two hours of yeehaws and cowboy hats.
Nevertheless, the Country Music Awards aired last night (pre-empting “Modern Family”…grrrr…), and, as expected Taylor Swift made a big splash, winning four awards including Entertainer of the Year, which had gone to Kenny Chesney for three years straight. Taylor’s a pretty likeable chick, I’m happy for her, and I must admit that my resolve is breaking and I might wind up going out and buying “Fearless” finally. Hey, did anyone see her host “SNL” this past weekend? She served poor Joe Jonas. Anyway, Taylor also won Album of the Year, Best Female Vocalist and Best Video of the Year. Next up for her, the American Music Awards, where she will vie for the lion’s share of the night’s honors with Michael Jackson. Oh, Taylor is also the youngest artist to ever win the Entertainer of the Year honor.
Other CMA winners included Sugarland, Brad Paisley, Lady Antebellum and my older twin brother Darius Rucker, who won New Artist of the Year, becoming only the second African-American artist to ever win a CMA. Might this be the most successful pop-to-country crossover in history? Remember, yall: Darius was doing Burger King commercials a few years ago. Now he’s a platinum-selling recording artist again. Good for him. I still have nightmares about that damn commercial.
Beyonce & Maxwell Lead the Pack in Soul Train Noms
October 26, 2009
I remember watching the Soul Train Music Awards in 2007. It was PATHETIC. Everyone that won an award that night accepted via videotape. It was like no one even cared to attend…the only big names I remember seeing that night were The Isley Brothers and Robin Thicke (who was just in the process of blowing up). It was like the BET Awards came and knocked everything out of the box.
Well, the Soul Train Awards are back. The BET and VH-1 merger network called Centric will be airing the 21st annual ceremony and it looks like the organizers have made this an event for the grown folks. This is almost completely an R&B award ceremony, making it a decent complement to the BET Awards, which are heavily hip-hop skewed.
This year’s big nominees are Beyonce Knowles and comeback king Maxwell, with four nominations each. Newcomer Keri Hilson also scored four nominations, including Best New Artist, where she’ll vie against Drake, Jazmine Sullivan, Ryan Leslie and Solange. Hmm, sounds like the Soul Train Awards have picked up the very Grammy-ish habit of selecting Best New Artist nominees who aren’t new artists.
To me, the strongest categories are Best Album and Best Male Artist. Beyonce is joined by Kanye West, Ne-Yo, Jamie Foxx and Maxwell in the former category. Maxwell leads the latter category, going against Raphael Saadiq, Robin Thicke, Charlie Wilson and Musiq Soulchild.
Wilson, of Gap Band fame, will be honored with a special achievement award at this event, along with the legendary Chaka Khan and the production team of L.A. Reid & Babyface. A special posthumous Entertainer of the Year award will be given to Michael Jackson.
The Soul Train Music Awards will air on 11/29 on both BET and Centric.
2009 Hip Hop Honors Live Play By Play
October 14, 2009
VH-1’s Hip Hop Honors show is one of my favorite shows of the year. It’s still amazing that VH-1 of all stations pays respect to the hip hop genre best, but hey, I’m not complaining.
(By the way, I know that it’s not technically live considering I’m on the West Coast, and I’m DVRing it so that I don’t have to watch commercials, but when people look at this in a few years, will they even know?)
(Wait, I just let the cat out of the bag. Damn.)
This year’s show pays respect to the Def Jam label. I hope we see some Rick Rubin tonight. I know we’ll see a lot of Russell Simmons.
And away we go…
Russell Simmons at the 2008 VMAs
- If you like you some Tracy Morgan, this is your show. If you don’t like you some Tracy Morgan, I’m not sure how much of this you’ll be able to stomach.
- Hey, LL is on this show even though he doesn’t have a record to pimp. Wait, didn’t he just start a new TV show?
- Black Thought and Eminem tear up Rock The Bells, but I was a bit sad watching because it takes Em doing hip hop karaoke to show that he can still bring it.
- Jazzy Jeff was spinning and ?uestlove was on the drums by the way. Talk about all-star cast.
- Why is Jimmy Fallon on this show? Oh yah, he put the Roots on his show. He can be on it.
- You know how Dr. Dre got all swoll in his later years? Chuck D doesn’t believe in that.
- Another reason I like this show is because it’s the one time a year where we get to see what Flavor Flav did that truly made him famous.
- I’m not quite sure that Ludacris deserves to be on the same stage that Public Enemy just graced, but oh well, it’s all about the love tonight.
- KRS-One doing No Sleep ‘Till Brooklyn? Well, he can do whatever song he wants as long as he doesn’t get mad at us.
- For The Love Of Ray J is still on? It’s amazing that the same station that puts Ray J in his drawers on TV is the same station that puts this show together.
- Warren G and Trey Songz just doesn’t have the same ring to it as Warren G and Nate Dogg. “And I see my homie Trey,” just doesn’t work for me.
- Only Brett Ratner would use the name “Method Man” and the words “true genius” in the same sentence. I’m not sure Mef’s mom would say that. Whatever happened their TV show Method and Red?
- Uh oh, I may get a little excited here. Mary J is here and she and Meth are going to perform I’ll Be There for You/You’re All I Need to Get By, and it’s not the Diddy remix.
- Onyx is on the stage and everyone watching all said at the same time, “I guess Onyx is still alive.”
- I think the last time I saw Eve was on last year’s Hip Hop Honors show.
- Ja Rule and Ashanti are on the stage doing an old favorite. Wait, I’m not sure any of their songs were old favorites. I always thought that they should let Ja Rule stand on a box whenever he was rapping on stage. He looks like Tupac’s mini me.
(For the first time in the history of this show, I hit the fast forward. I apologize. Ja Rule and Ashanti did a second song. I couldn’t take it anymore.)
- There’s been an Oran “Juice” Jones sighting. I repeat, there’s been an Oran “Juice” Jones sighting.
- Hold on, I may have to fast forward again. I think Tracy just introduced Rick Ross. On most of the earlier performances, Russ Simmons and Chris Rock were rappin’ along with the songs. Not with Ross. They’re just pretending to like it.
- DMX is back! If you’ve been wondering what X is into lately, he’s supposedly “fighting” on an MMA show. Notice the word fighting in quotes.
- Let’s put it this way; Kid Rock is a more charismatic rhymer than Rick Ross.
- EPMD is doing Crossover, but poor Parrish’s mic isn’t working.
- Foxy Brown is wearing the same clothes she wore in 1997, except she’s about 25 pounds heavier in the chest area. Always trying to keep up with Lil’ Kim.
- I can’t believe they ended the show with Doug E. Doug doing Kanye’s Touch The Sky.
- Oh well, even though it was probably the worst of the Hip Hop Honors show, there was still some good stuff. Watch for the first half.
- By the way, was Jay-Z busy or persona non grata?
Photo of Russell Simmons by Philip Nelson, Live Streaming Expert and shared via creative commons
Michael Jackson And Taylor Swift Lead 2009 American Music Award Nominations
October 13, 2009
The nominations were released today for the American Music Awards, and we wouldn’t usually make such a big deal about the nominations. But, when word came out today that Michael Jackson had five posthumous nominations, it became very newsworthy.
You may wonder like I did, how Jackson could be up for an award being that he hasn’t released a new album in many years. According to The Rolling Stone, it’s because of the sales racked up by Jackson’s Number Ones, which was released some 6 years ago.
According to a press release, the nominees “were selected from data supplied by the Nielsen Company’s Broadcast Data Systems, which monitors radio airplay performance, and SoundScan, which tracks retail music sales.” This pretty much explains why Michael Jackson and his Number Ones are included on the nominees list: Even though the greatest-hits compilation was originally released in 2003, it’s sold almost two million copies since the King of Pop’s death on June 25th, making Jackson’s eligible for a posthumous Artist of the Year award.
Taylor Swift at the Sydney Factory Theatre
American Idol runner-up Adam Lambert is scheduled to perform his first single from his upcoming album at the awards show, alongside Alicia Keys, the Black Eyed Peas, and Jennifer Lopez.
The show is set to air live on November 22.
You can see a full list of the categories and vote for who you think should win at ABC’s website.
Photo of Taylor Swift by Girl.in.the.Green.Scarf and shared via creative commons
Chart Chat 9/24/09: The MTV Bump
September 24, 2009
Three big pieces of news on the Billboard Album charts this week…
First, there were debuts aplenty thanks to a majorly packed new release schedule. Top honors went to Brit prog-rockers Muse, who entered at #3 on the strength of 128,000 copies sold. It’s their best first week and highest debut ever. Right behind is Kanye West protege Kid Cudi, who clears a handsome 104K with his debut. Hip-hop phenom Drake enters at #6 with his first commercially released EP, and rapper Lil’ Boosie (yeah, I don’t know who he is either) starts off at #7. The top 10’s other debut comes from metal veterans Megadeth. Dave Mustaine and company enter the charts at #9 with 45K sold.
There are a couple of long-awaited returns to the chart. Kiss’s Ace Frehley, who hasn’t released a solo album in something like two decades, arrives at #27 with “Anomaly”, proving that the KISS Army is very much still in effect. Other returning vets include Uncle Kracker, who’s been gone for the better part of a half-decade (#38) and Living Colour earning their first chart ink since 1993 at #161.
Speaking of effects…how about the Oprah effect? Thanks to Whitney Houston’s season-opening two day interview with the TV queen, “I Look to You” holds at #2 for a second week, increasing 77% in scans to sell 156K for the week. This vaults Whitney’s album over the 500K mark in a scant three weeks. I hope she sent Oprah flowers or something.
And then there’s the MTV Awards effect, which benefited just about every artist who presented and performed. Jay-Z’s “Blueprint 3″ took a smaller than usual second-week hit, dropping 37% to land at 298K for the week and a second frame at #1. Jay’s album is only a couple of weeks away from outdistancing the sales of his last record, “American Gangster”, which rang up just over 1.1 million in sales. Additionally, the song that closed the show, “Empire State of Mind”, vaults to the top of the downloaded tracks chart and jumps from 50-5 on the Top 100 singles chart, giving Jay two singles in the Top 5. Additionally, “Run This Town”, his current track with Kanye and Rihanna, jumps to #2, becoming the highest charting single ever for Jay-Z as a lead artist. As a featured artist, he’s had 3 #1s-Mariah Carey’s “Heartbreaker”, Beyonce’s “Crazy in Love” and Rihanna’s “Umbrella”
Other MTV performers who made noise this week include Lady Gaga (#12/+76%), Pink (#28/ +95%) and Green Day (#54/ +17%).
Now for the question you’ve all been itching to ask: how did the Taylor Swift/Kanye West/Beyonce fiasco affect sales? Well, here goes:
Swift’s “You Belong with Me” becomes the first country song to rise to the top of Billboard’s Hot 100 airplay chart in the chart’s 18 year history. The track picks up 60% in downloads to land at #9 on this week’s Top Digital Songs chart and also climbs two spots to #4 on the Hot 100 singles chart (which combines digital and physical sales with airplay). Her nearly quadruple-platinum album “Fearless” increases 37% and lands at #8 on this week’s Billboard 200 Album chart. It’s the week’s biggest-selling country album.
Beyonce’s “I Am…Sasha Fierce” increases 40% in scans to land at #40 on the album chart. “Fierce” has sold almost 2.5 million copies in a year on the charts. Her award-winning “Single Ladies” track jumps from 106-43 on this week’s Top Digital Songs chart, increasing 159% from last week’s total. In addition, the current single from “Fierce”, “Sweet Dreams”, has just become the sixth Top 40 hit from that album, putting her within shouting distance of tying Janet Jackson (who did it twice) and Rihanna for the record in this category.
Meanwhile, Kanye West’s “808s & Heartbreak” drops 7% in scans this week. It’s hard to tell if his spaz out hurt sales, as “808s” had experienced a 6% slide the previous week and a 7% slide the week before that. “808s” has already scanned 1.6 million copies. However, despite declining sales, don’t cry for Mr. West. Aside from being the main producer of the week’s #1 album and the mentor of the artist at #4, Kanye has two songs in this week’s Top 10. The aforementioned “Run This Town” shoots up two spots to land at #2, and he debuts on the chart at #8, accompanying Drake, Lil Wayne and Eminem on “Forever”. As they say, there’s no such thing as bad publicity as long as they spell your name right.
Expect Jay to have another strong week next week, although he will be outshone by the new Pearl Jam album, which has an excellent chance at debuting on top.
Here are this week’s top 20 Albums (I’m using Billboard’s Comprehensive Albums chart, which includes older titles, which is why there’s a discrepancy between some of the chart positions here and some of the positions I mentioned earlier):
1) Jay-Z “Blueprint 3″
2) Whitney Houston “I Look to You”
3) Muse “Resistance”
4) Kid Cudi “Man on the Moon: The End of the Day”
5) Miley Cyrus “Time of Our Lives EP”
6) Drake “So Far Gone EP”
7) The Beatles “Abbey Road”
Lil Boosie “Superman: The Return of Lil Boosie”
9) Michael Jackson “Number Ones”
10) Taylor Swift “Fearless”
11) Megadeth “Endgame”
12) The Beatles “Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band”
13) The Black Eyed Peas “The EN.D. (The Energy Never Dies)”
14) Kings of Leon “Only by the Night”
15) Lady Gaga “The Fame”
16) The Beatles “The Beatles (The White Album)”
17) The Beatles “Rubber Soul”
18) Zac Brown Band “Foundation”
19) Trey Songz “Ready”
20) Brooks & Dunn “#1s…and Then Some”
2010 Rock ‘n Roll Hall of Fame Nominees: A Musical Smorgasbord
September 23, 2009
Rock snobs, get ready to argue.
The Rock ‘n Roll Hall of Fame has just announced the nominees for their 2010 induction ceremony. Of these twelve nominees, five will be inducted. As usual, there is plenty of diversity in the nominees and there are a couple of head-scratchers here as well.
The 12 finalists are Swedish pop icons ABBA, prototype girl group The Chantels, reggae legend Jimmy Cliff, prog-rock turned pop supergroup Genesis, sixties (and early seventies) favorites The Hollies, the legendary KISS, hip-hop ambassador LL Cool J, Darlene Love (another girl-group icon), soulful singer-songwriter Laura Nyro, funk-rock mainstays The Red Hot Chili Peppers, Iggy Pop & the Stooges, and disco queen Donna Summer.
One bone of contention is the somewhat (OK, very) racist notion that some of these artists are not “rock ‘n roll”, since most of America thinks that rock ‘n roll is almost entirely a white male phenomenon (and you know this is true). However, most intelligent music fans are aware that rock ‘n roll is more or less an umbrella term for any popular music recorded in the past 55 or so years. My point being that everyone on this list can be considered rock ‘n roll in some way, shape or form.
Usually, the other bone of contention has to do with omissions. KISS fans have complained long and hard about their icons not being in the HOF, and I think the band’s chances are actually pretty good this year. However, people will always have beefs, whether it’s the HOF’s seeming phobia towards prog-rock, or their bias towards more pop-oriented (but equally legendary) acts like Chicago and Hall & Oates, or the fact that there’s no Joy Division, New Order or Depeche Mode in the HOF yet. Hey, synthesizers rock, too!
While I’m certainly aware of the influence that the Chantels and Darlene Love had on rock ’n roll during its’ formative years, I also can’t say that I’m terribly familiar with their music, as my musical education pretty much starts with The Beatles and early Motown. Despite the fact that “The Harder They Come” is an amazing soundtrack, that’s really Jimmy Cliff’s only claim to fame, and plenty of that soundtrack was performed by other artists. I think ABBA’s way too lightweight to appear in ANYONE’s Hall of Fame, and while I love me some Laura Nyro, I don’t know exactly how influential she was in the grand scheme of things.
So, my final five (and I think the five that will most likely be inducted this year):
KISS: Because, yes, they do deserve it. They’re icons, and you don’t maintain a 35-year career without being talented. Even if Gene Simmons is a cocksnot. Besides, once they’re inducted, their fans will finally S.T.F.U.
Genesis: Peter Gabriel was one of the most influential (and theatrical) frontmen of his time, and the band’s Phil Collins-era hits were some of the most catchy and well-crafted pop music of their time.
The Stooges: Iggy is already in as a solo artist, yes? This is another situation where fans have complained long and hard about this. As unfamiliar as I am with their music, I can definitely say that many of my favorite bands have listed these guys as an influence.
Red Hot Chili Peppers: Although all the music they’ve recorded over the past decade has sounded exactly the same, there’s no denying the power of their early material. Their combination of funk and rock was wildly influential, and (for better or for worse), they helped kick off the whole rap-rock/nu metal era. Plus, they are one of the greatest live bands of all time.
LL Cool J: Another artist whose mediocre recent material may come back to haunt him. Yet you can’t deny how influential LL has been in the world of hip-hop. Along with Run-DMC, he broke down the doors for rappers to gain mainstream acceptance, and he was the first emcee to successfully bridge the gap between hardcore and pop-friedly. Besides, this dude is the Lazarus of hip-hop.
While I’m a Donna Summer fan, I can honestly say that the only disco acts that belong in the Rock ‘n Roll Hall of Fame are Madonna (who’s in) and Chic (who aren’t). We’ll let her be the wild card here.
Who else do you feel should be included in the R&R HOF??
Check out the Hall of Fame’s official website here.
Tell Me Why You’re Crying My Son
September 17, 2009
Peter Paul and Mary play NY in 2006. Image via Wikipedia
Mary Travers, the Mary who blended her voice with Peter and Paul, has died at 72 according to published reports at CNN.com.
Watching a world pass them by but sticking to the idealism that made them 60s favorites, PP&M were the VH1 band of their day that wanted to break on MTV but not lose their loyal listeners. Puff (The Magic Dragon) wasn’t about anything but a child’s imaginary playmate they insisted, much like The Beatles insisted that many of their well known drug songs were simple odes about fun places.
Back to back Grammy Awards in 1962-1963 for Best Pop Performance for If I Had A Hammer and Leaving On A Jet Plane established the trio in music’s mainstream. They were no longer the torch bearers of Seeger’s legacy, but a musical force (much like early Kanye) that could keep a foot on each side of the road and walk straight down the center.
The artists they influenced are in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, as are the artists that influenced them. They gave voice to Bobby Zimmerman’s Blowin’ in the Wind. They did the same thing for John Denver’s Leaving on a Jet Plane in that awkward period the Far Out guy experienced between the Chad Mitchell days and his stint as a Rocky Mountain troubadour.
Peter Paul & Mary covered Dylan especially well. In The Wind, the band’s third album in 1963, featured three Dylan penned tracks. They would constantly return to Dylan covers, including I Shall Be Released and Too Much of Nothing. Tim Hardin was another favorite songwriter to cover, as was influence Pete Seeger.
Perhaps no better measure of the respect PP&M generated is found in the musicians credits on their albums. Artists like Herbie Hancock grace the credits of the band’s discography. And if Paul Stookey wanted to write songs and Peter Yarrow wanted to produce them, Mary Travers was the soaring voice cementing the two and firmly establishing the trio in pop music history.
RIP Mary. Day is done.
*For those who didn’t delve too deep into the discography, the headline is the first line of Day is Done, one of Peter, Paul and Mary’s last hits.
