Oh Noes!!: The Pussycat Dolls Split Up

Written by: Money Mike

Please join me as we bow our heads and say goodbye to a group gone before their time. Not since The Beatles broke up in 1970 has the music world been more affected by a band’s split. Yes, ladies and gentlemen.

The Pussycat Dolls are no more.

Of course I’m being sarcastic.

The completely anonymous chicks who danced behind Nicole Scherzinger have decided to bounce. I’m not quite sure why, seeing as they have the cushiest music biz job not held down by the third guy from N.E.R.D.

Let’s face facts here, Nicole was the face of the group, and allegedly she sang not only lead vocals but ALL vocals on the overwhelming majority of the two albums PCD put out. So who cares where the other hoes go? Just find four random chicks, put them behind Nicole and still call them the Pussycat Dolls. No one will know the difference.

If this causes a problem for anyone, it’s the PCD’s label Interscope and its’ president, Jimmy Iovine. A couple years back, the label tried desperately to break Nicole as a solo artist (which, if successful, would have probably deaded the PCD right there). Three or four singles were released, none of which made an impact, and the album’s release was shelved. Apparently, the PCD brand was more recognizable than Nicole’s name (don’t you think they could have gotten homegirl to change her name? It’s almost as unpronounceable and unwieldy as mine!!). However, in the grand scheme of things, their ship may have already sailed away. According to Soundscan, the group’s first album, 2005′s “PCD” sold 2.9 million copies (I would assume that whatever percentage of that album was purchased by members of the male persuasion wound up with the cover being used as masturbation material). The follow up, last year’s “Doll Domination”, has sold 374,000 copies, or about 15% of what their previous album sold. Yikes.

So, assuming anyone out there actually cares about this: you heard it here, the Pussycat Dolls are no more. How will the music industry recover from this loss?

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