VH-1 Hip Hop Honors ‘07

Written by: GG

This year, VH-1 gives honors to Snoop Dogg, Missy Elliot, and A Tribe Called Quest. Two of those things is not like the other. I guess in order to get ATCQ honored, we have to sit through Snoop and Missy. Oh well, it’s worth it. Tracy Morgan is hosting. I wonder if he’ll dress up like Hustle Man, like when he was on Martin.

• Does KRS-One really go by KRS-One Tha Teacha now?
• I wonder is Missy Elliot is going to show up in that rubber balloon suit tonight? I can’t stand the rain, rain, rain.
• Wait, they’re honoring Whodini and New Jack swing too? Does that mean we get some Teddy Riley up in here?
• Isn’t Kerry Washington supposed to be blind? Wait, that’s just in Fantastic Four.
• Missy says that she met Timbaland through Magoo. Can anyone throw Magoo a bone these days? Where is that dude?
• At least we know Tweet is still alive.
• Timbo decided to bring the guns to the gun show.
• Eve and her hair decide to make an appearance. Wait, that’s probably not her hair.
• Nelly Furtado and her ass decide to make an appearance.
• Ciara and her Adam’s apple decide to make an appearance.
• Is Diddy supposed to pronounce the H in homage?
• Look at Waterbed Hev dancing in shorts.
• I feel like a kid again listening to Guy.
• Andre Harrell describes New Jack Swing as a merging of hip hop, R&B, and funk.
• I wish I could be as cool as Doug E. Fresh.
• Someone give T-Pain his synthesizer back. He needs it. He’s making me not want HER.
• If Kool Moe Dee was this big when he rapped back in his day, they’d have called him Heavy Dee.
• Ne-Yo is doing Remember The Time, which was produced by Teddy Riley and is new jack swing, but Eddie and Iman and her bird were nowhere to be found.
• All I wanna do is zoom a zoom zoom zoom and a boom boom, just shake your rump. That might be the greatest lyric of all time.
• Wait, is that Chauncey, who Kanye said was from Blackstreet and was as black as the street was? And if so, where’s Dave Hollister when you need him?
• LL is out to talk about Wild Style and you know Timbo is in the back like, “My arms are bigger, and I can fit two microphones and a turntable on my arm.”
• Rappers don’t age well, or at least you’re not used to seeing old men with shades on rockin’ the mic.
• Well, except if you are KRS-One.
• Grandmaster Caz just said, “Grandmaster Caz and Wild Style, greatest of all time.”
• Who did Whodini piss off to have Nick Cannon, Nelly, and Don Chi Chi to represent them?
• Pharrell seemed a little light in the ass to rap off Doggystyle compared to Ice T.
• Common and Skateboard P actually did a great job with Scenario in setting up Busta Rhymes for his big spot, and the man just doesn’t have it anymore.
• Tribe still has it. They need to put out an album immediately.

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